Happy (cue catchy song)

I’ve been mulling over the last two emails you’ve sent me, trying to work out my feelings in some sort of logic seeking process. You see, the first one, kind of said you miss me. So, it caught me off guard, and my breath caught in my throat and I wanted to vomit. Calm down, I was told, maybe that’s not what he meant. So I ignored that part of the email and responded to the remainder with only a, “thank you.” You responded, cryptically again, with “I wish you happiness.”
You wish me happiness.
You stole my children.
I am not happy.
You stole my children’s innocence.
Not happy.
My parents have incurred huge debt as a result of your drawing out a custody battle, not to mention not financially supporting the kids for 14 years.
You broke my grandfather’s heart by severing his relationship with the children.
I left my family and friends because you couldn’t stop following me around town.
I no longer volunteer for PTA or coaching because, well, I don’t have kids anymore because you took them.
You took away everything that previously brought me happiness. You broke up with your (married) girlfriend and now you wish me happiness?

Well thanks, because since you took away what originally made me happy, life lessons have taught me how to find my own happiness.
My man? He’s amazing. Super happy. The group of people I’ve met since I left? Could not imagine a better group of people to be around. They don’t judge, they don’t waiver, they’re amazing. So yeah, happy. My job? Love it. I work a lot of hours and some of the customers can be pretty crappy, but working with my best friends makes me pretty happy. I go to a great gym where I’ve made more great friends.
I don’t need your blessings or your wishes for my happiness. I’d be perfectly happy if I never had to speak to you another day in my life. I can be happy on my own terms.
So in closing, I hope YOU find happiness. Keep walking around destroying everything around you and wishing for happiness, let me know how that turns out.

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I just don’t want to (a letter I wish I could send my court ordered therapist)

Since November 28th, 2012, I have fulfilled every request made of me from Judge Schoonover, yourself and my personal therapist in regards to my relationship with eric. I have compromised my physical and mental stability to make sure the children have been dropped off at designated times for their father. I have allowed myself to be manipulated by Eric in trying to meet his demands, as ordered by the court.
I lost my “grown up job,” obtained after we stopped moving around the country due to stalking by eric. His stalking and documented physical abuse led to anxiety that rendered me physically unable to perform my job duties.

I obtained student loans and financial aid to further my education after a decade of underemployment due to my work as a mom to four children. My ability to rely on that income was stymied when Eric was awarded custody of the children; whom he had used to obtain financial aid and government benefits when he wasn’t supporting his children.

My long term boyfriend purchased a four bedroom, three bathroom home with his life savings in order to protect my four children from their father who wasn’t supporting them. He lost his “grown up” job when said home was subject to an attempted break in, relatively shortly after Eric was trespassed from the property. We moved 500 miles away from his life, his family, his home of 23 years to keep me safe.

My long term boyfriend’s parents have provided over $12,000 worth of support to myself in an attempt to cover my living expenses, and the childrens’, after my job at Chase was lost.

My parents have paid over $20,000 in legal bills since I filed for a restraining order prior to Eric filling for divorce, but after his arrest for domestic abuse.

My children were ordered back to Eric in an attempt to maintain “stability.” Buggy no longer receives services for her placement on the autism spectrum. No children participate in after school sports. No children have been returned to Girl Scouts. All children have lost contact with any friends who’s parents I had fostered relationships with. Television is a major piece of entertainment and all children are subjected to eight children and two adults in a rented 3 bedroom apartment on a regular basis.

Eric has had my vehicle repossessed, he has destroyed my personal property and liquidated any of our joint assets. My work schedule is a continual source of ire and discontent.

All my interactions with the children are monitored and limited. I remain under Eric’s control and will into the foreseeable future.

Eric’s ultimate goal is to poison every interaction I have with the children, and the court system allows this abusive behavior to continue.

I am not allowed to tell the children that I have run away out of fear for my life because that would be bad mouthing Eric, despite his arrest record. However, Eric has the continued authority to tell the girls what an awful person I am because I sought safety…
I am at a lost as to how these can be resolved…

Stalking, as defined…

784.048 Stalking; definitions; penalties.—
(1) As used in this section, the term:
(a) “Harass” means to engage in a course of conduct directed at a specific person which causes substantial emotional distress to that person and serves no legitimate purpose.

Baby Daddy likes to reach out to my parents when he doesn’t get a response from me while he’s playing his little mind games. Anywhere else, and in all of florida except my case, this would clearly be stalking. There’s no reason for him to have any contact with my family or friends at all. I’m quite certain, I’d be in jail if I tried to contact his friends or family, as if I’d have a reason… But here’s an exchange being supervised by our court ordered therapist in response to my asking him not to contact my parents again…

On Feb 26, 2014 9:59 AM, “D ” wrote:
I will ask you, again, to please refrain from communicating with my family. It is not necessary for you to start any sort of dialogue with my parents when any sort of parenting arrangements should be made through myself and you, as parents

[His Response]

I asked your parents if they would like to have the girls for the evening or overnight sometime because the girls miss them. I’m not going through you to arrange that. If they choose not to than thier loss.
Goodday.

Yep, clearly that’s what I said. I’m so mean I never want my kids to see my parents again, that’s what the first email says, right??

Again, the courts and our therapist allow him to harass me and stalk me whenever he wants with no consequence, and should I say anything to redirect or change the behavior, I’m crazy…
It’s embarrassing to me that my poor life decision of marrying a psychopath continues to have intimidating an emotional effects on my family and friends. It’s emotionally draining to carry my own anxiety and guilt about my relationship, but adding to that the stress of feeling like I have to protect everyone I know from Baby Daddy is overwhelming.