You Say it’s Your Birthday

I’ve been thinking, I’ve been thinking.. 🙂
So around a year ago, I decided to start drinking again. I hadn’t stopped for any particular reason, I just kinda outgrew happy hours and people and well, anxiety makes bars super weird anyway (says the career bartender). So I drank, not in any sort of hazardous pattern, but socially. This weekend, for my 35th birthday, I’ve decided I think I’m done again. I can’t think of anything it’s done for me that’s positive. Nothing’s been horrible, I haven’t gotten a DUI or done anything horribly embarrassing, but I can say it’s doing to anything to add to my quality of life. Other random thoughts from this weekend…
I don’t know if people ever really figure out who they are. I’ve spent a lot of time trying, though. It’s taken me 35 years to realize maybe there’s nothing to find. Maybe people really are just constantly changing and aging is really just a new chance to reinvent ourselves. I’ve made great friends, I’ve lost great friends. I’ve lost some really bad friends, too. I’m learning to embrace that I can’t control someone else’s actions, only my reaction. I may never know why every single thing happens, and I’ll never be able to figure out everyone’s thought processes. It’s ok to jettison dead weight when you don’t need it. Not everyone who comes into our lives is meant to stay forever, there wouldn’t be enough space to let new people in.

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