Some days I’m mad

Some days I’m so angry with where I am, that the anger embraces me and it’s all I can think about. The world is red and painfully bright. But then there are other days… The days I choose to shake the blanket of anger off and I feel sad. I feel sad for you, of all things.
I wonder, are you happy now? All the things you said you’d do to me, you did them all. You took everything I ever owned, you destroyed all the things that were important to me. You took my children and severed their bonds with me. You made sure I had absolutely nothing when I left. You refuse to sign divorce paperwork so that I can go be with the man I love, presumably since you’ve told me so many times, no one else could ever have me. But in spite of all of this… All these promises you made that I believed would physically kill me if they were all fulfilled, I’m still here. I’m still alive. I still manage to foster friendships with people when you told me I couldn’t. Days like today, I derive my joy from knowing how disappointed it must make you knowing that I made it. I started over and it didn’t kill me. I started over and I might be a stronger person because of it. I didn’t follow the path I thought would lead me where I wanted to go, and I’ve ended up somewhere completely different than I imagined, but it’s great. All the things you took from me, I’m sure create a heavy load of baggage for you to carry. Thanks, for keeping one set of promises and seeing it through, since it’s so unlike you..

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