It’s not all bad

Lots of stuff in my life is sad. Lots of stuff sucks. I’d probably say the bad times outweigh the good. Butttttt, like everything else in my life, the goods are as am extreme as the bads.

This weekend Boy and I got a puppy. Although we share lots of responsibilities, she’s the first thing that is truly ours. Biggie Smalls is a Chorkie, a chihuahua Yorkie mix that I did NOT buy in a fancy pet store. Boy is in love. It is adorable.

Stated a new part time job today. 4 hours a day. The longest stretch of time I’ve had to interact with other people in months. It was rough, but it’s nice to be productive again. 4 hours is plenty though.

The girls texted me today. That makes me happy. I hope one day when they look back and realize I loved them through this all. I’m afraid of that. Do they feel like I’ve abandoned them? Have I failed to fulfill my promises to protect them forever now that they’re back with their dad? Is this unbending loyalty to their dad forever? Again I digress… The good…

Ran 4 miles in 28 minutes. Great times again yay.

The counselor wants to meet with Eric and his new married girlfriend and Boy and I. I don’t know what other court in the country would put a domestic violence victim through so much interaction with their abuser. Why do I continue to be punished for leaving someone who beat us???

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